She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
