OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
