Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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