Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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