Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
