Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
