Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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