Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
