and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
