What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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