You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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