I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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