why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
