Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
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I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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