just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
