listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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