You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
