I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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