carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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