When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
