I look better un-naked...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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