just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
