you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
