HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
