obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
