How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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