Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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