Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kc_alexander hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

Fav 14 2877 896
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

Fav 18 3296 1029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home

(419): View more from Ohio

move.

Fav 19 1333 7672
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

Fav 4 5869 1266
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50

Fav 6 3022 1073
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.

Fav 1 1877 1003
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(587): View more from Alberta

Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?

Fav 7 1675 760
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i can only hope to be on your level one day.

Fav 1 1065 621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?

Fav 1 212 123
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT