i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
