I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
