Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
