Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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