I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
