you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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