I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
