WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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