Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
found the other keg... it's in the tree
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
