This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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