so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
