Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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