I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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