Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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