Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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