He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
