Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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