Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
