how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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