Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize