dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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