he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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