therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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