I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
