I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
accomplished twins. life is a go
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
