I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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