Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
