you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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