When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
is wine microwaveable?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
