just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
