I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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