i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
