There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
