4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
