Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
