I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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