ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
