I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
