I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
